Kindness is a recurring theme in Scripture when it comes to choosing a spouse. Rebekah was chosen for Isaac because she showed kindness to Eliezer by drawing water for his camels. Moses defended Jethro’s daughters, demonstrating compassion. Abigail’s kindness and wisdom saved her household and won David’s respect. Joseph’s kindness toward Mary preserved her dignity. These examples remind us that good character is the foundation of godly relationships.

Sadly, many marriages falter because character was overlooked. Some prioritize beauty, wealth, or social status, only to discover that these cannot sustain love. Proverbs 31:30 warns: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” The same applies to men. A spouse who fears the Lord and walks in integrity is far more valuable than external qualities.

Character also determines how spouses treat one another. If someone is harsh or disrespectful before marriage, they will likely be worse afterward. Marriage does not change people; it magnifies who they already are. This is why discernment is critical. Ask: Is this person kind? Do they treat me with respect? Do they honor God? These questions reveal whether their character will sustain a covenant relationship.

Ultimately, Christlike character is the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23). Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control are the qualities that make marriage flourish. When both spouses cultivate these fruits, their marriage becomes a reflection of Christ’s love for the church.

Prayer

Lord, shape my character to reflect Your love. Teach me to walk in kindness, patience, and humility. Help me to value character above outward appearances and to build relationships rooted in integrity and godliness. Amen.

Reflection Question

What character traits do you believe are most important for sustaining a godly marriage?